I spotted one for £65, it was a silver eternity ring set with rubies (cheap eh?). I asked to try it on and an old woman took it from the case and gave it to me. Once on my finger it turned into the most horrendous costume jewellery, it stuck an inch out from my finger, and all around the protuding setting I could see that underneath the silver was a plastic ring!

I was in a lift in a department store, I had pressed the button for floor whatever (probably shoes) and was joined by a rather handsome chap who pressed the button for floor something else…. in the shop in Sheffield and floor another thing in the shop in York. At which point I panicked…its ok to flirt with a guy in a lift that stays in the shop you caught it in, but not when it might end up miles away and then you have to explain why you’re so late home etc etc.

But thats a pretty cool idea, you go up to the desk and say ‘Do you have this dress in a size 10?’ and they say ‘No, but I can ring our other store in London’ and you’re about to go ‘oh no really there’s no point’ when the clerk adds ‘Its ok you can take the lift’.

I dream about lifts a lot, possibly becuase I am dreadfully afraid of heights and I’m scared of getting trapped in them, or the lift chain breaking….

 I was on a tour around a country house. An old man in hunting gear was showing me and a friend around. We paused over an item and I told my friend that many people had severe tooth decay because of the food they ate. The guide hastily told me I was wrong and started mixing sugar and butter together. He put a small dot of this paste between 2 bits of cucumber and gave them to me and my friend to eat! He then offered us other food from history…a piece of cheese that tasted of mint….I mean I could actually taste cheese and mint…..it was minted camembert. And before anyone runs off with that idea, it tasted rank.

How long am I going to lie on the beach/ read my book / fall asleep for?
Where am I going to eat next?
Where will I find a toilet?

And dreaming is much like being on holiday. I ‘ve started dreaming that I fall asleep in inappropriate places (ie work!) and as you know from previous entries toilets are a huge concern to my subconcious. So much so that the other night I dreamt I was in a car with someone (a female) who had a tower of plastic cups next to the drivers seat which she used to form an elaborate cup toilet system.

I think my subconscious is the rebellious part of me - all this talk of giving up smoking and I dream I take it up!

I wonder what we’ll all smell like now after a night out? BO (most likely other people’s) spilt beer and cheap air freshener! Have I ever mentioned that my cat smells nice? most cats smell of tuna breath or biscuit breath but my cat smells GORGEOUS.

I’ve been in a huge warehouse, full of toys, electricals etc with sinks that had leeches crawling out of them and I’ve held a ten stone baby. I think I offered to buy an island for several hundred thousand last night as long as Daniel Craig was included.

 So my favourite things at the moment on the internet are

This ever so lovely zombie game http://game.joke.co.uk/ although I can’t get past level 3 Bovine Creek.

This song on http://www.rathergood.com called My Cats got knees http://rathergood.com/knees/

And this little toy that lets you create a message from the CEO to your mates, before I joined the company I enjoyed ‘wearing beautiful evening gowns’ - hilarious. Here’s the link http://www.bigcheesememo.co.uk/

I complained to my local council today about the various roadworks (causing me a huge pain in my ass in the morning as I try to get to work) over the fact that they are going to now do roadworks on the diversion I use! I got a very prompt response from the Project Manager no less who made reference to my email proving it wasn’t an automated reply. My problem isn’t solved but I got my point across and I was read/listened to. I was assured that one route would be open again from April 4th, I think I should be allowed to work from home until then! Or the helicopter should come and collect me. I don’t mind.

This has covered nearly all of my categories at this stage except for cake so I’ll mention here the treacle sponge pudding with custard I ate at lunch time - delicious. An old and reliable favourite. None of your fancy schmancy cheesecake crap.

Then I was with people from work in this strange building and I had lessons on a cliff side, it was really steep and high and I had to concentrate on not falling off AND the lesson. I am totally scared of heights and I was beginning to get vertigo in my dream. Then I was in a solid building but on the top floor and people were dancing on a platform which hung over the edge.  Oh, and there was a goth party.