When I go on holiday my days revolve around:

How long am I going to lie on the beach/ read my book / fall asleep for?
Where am I going to eat next?
Where will I find a toilet?

And dreaming is much like being on holiday. I ‘ve started dreaming that I fall asleep in inappropriate places (ie work!) and as you know from previous entries toilets are a huge concern to my subconcious. So much so that the other night I dreamt I was in a car with someone (a female) who had a tower of plastic cups next to the drivers seat which she used to form an elaborate cup toilet system.

I think my subconscious is the rebellious part of me - all this talk of giving up smoking and I dream I take it up!

I wonder what we’ll all smell like now after a night out? BO (most likely other people’s) spilt beer and cheap air freshener! Have I ever mentioned that my cat smells nice? most cats smell of tuna breath or biscuit breath but my cat smells GORGEOUS.

Dear Reader, there are no dreams. A whole week of near barrenness. What can I say? I tried two blankets, socks, alcohol and cheese before bed but I couldn’t recover from the loss of an hour. And so there have been no posts.

Grocery shopping in a church? Renting a hotel room at a small branch of Boots? Normal behaviour? No, of course not.

 So my favourite things at the moment on the internet are

This ever so lovely zombie game http://game.joke.co.uk/ although I can’t get past level 3 Bovine Creek.

This song on http://www.rathergood.com called My Cats got knees http://rathergood.com/knees/

And this little toy that lets you create a message from the CEO to your mates, before I joined the company I enjoyed ‘wearing beautiful evening gowns’ - hilarious. Here’s the link http://www.bigcheesememo.co.uk/

I complained to my local council today about the various roadworks (causing me a huge pain in my ass in the morning as I try to get to work) over the fact that they are going to now do roadworks on the diversion I use! I got a very prompt response from the Project Manager no less who made reference to my email proving it wasn’t an automated reply. My problem isn’t solved but I got my point across and I was read/listened to. I was assured that one route would be open again from April 4th, I think I should be allowed to work from home until then! Or the helicopter should come and collect me. I don’t mind.

This has covered nearly all of my categories at this stage except for cake so I’ll mention here the treacle sponge pudding with custard I ate at lunch time - delicious. An old and reliable favourite. None of your fancy schmancy cheesecake crap.

So last night I dreamed I visited my new house with my mum. Only the previous owners were still there. Only the woman was there - she was totally different to the real lady who lives there, and she was a bit mad. The house was huge and incredibly messy. I dumped all my stuff in one of the rooms and then I had to clear it all up when it was time to leave. It took me ages and I didn;t have enough bags. The woman’s husband came home and he was really annoyed that we were still there. Then my Dad turned up to take us away and he sat down and started chatting to the woman who was very snooty by this time. Then my Dad broke wind! And he thought it was hilarious but the woman was disgusted and I started crying becuase I thought she wouldn’t sell me the house anymore!

Then I was with people from work in this strange building and I had lessons on a cliff side, it was really steep and high and I had to concentrate on not falling off AND the lesson. I am totally scared of heights and I was beginning to get vertigo in my dream. Then I was in a solid building but on the top floor and people were dancing on a platform which hung over the edge.  Oh, and there was a goth party.

Last night I dreamt the skin on my face peeled off.

A dream I would have preferred after watching Casino Royale would have been that I was Daniel Craig’s Bond girl, wearing a very expensive frock and jewellery, swigging champers and snogging his face off. Instead I got to be the spy, chased all over the place. hmm, not my first choice brain, thanks.

Apologies for the double post - Sorted now, it didn’t delete any comments - NO ONE LOVES ME!

I just like that word, don’t even know if it is a word! I’ve had a melange of dreams and last night I dreamt two members of my family joined a religious cult, worshipping this bizarre man who insisted that his followers every thought should be about him! They were trying to convince me and they started performing a ceremony with me at the centre I kept escaping and shouting at everyone that they were wrong. Once again I was shouting at everyone and being horrible to them.

In another dream I was in the 1940/50s in what was supposed to be my room, I remember brushing my hair in front of a mirror and I had this very glamorous hairstyle which I loved.

And I went back in time again when I went to the 16th birthday party of someone I knew from school who is now in their twenties.

I’m always amazed by the level of detail I remember from a dream, its like I create a story but I only remember a tableau, one scene and all its details.

I’ve got the New Year off to a brilliant start in dreams.

Here is last nighs’:

Once again I was involved with a story that gripped people’s imagination but hasn’t been written! This time as a play, which, in the dream, I could never remember the name of. It was definitely three words ‘The B…..C or S’ - the following words beginning with B then C or S. I thought it was Business something but it had nothing to do with work of any description.  Nonetheless it was a new play that had just been written and was proving to be incredibly popular with fringe theatre and young literary types. I don’t remember what it was about apart from that it was emotionally complicated and quite dark. I’d had a phone call from someone I used to go to school with, and didn’t much like, who wanted me to help her learn her lines for the lead role, and another friend told me that she had a part to learn. Neither of them were in a theatre group but I quickly gathered that there was a group of people at work who were organising a production of the play. The director being some called Napthali - no one I even work with or know! He didn’t have a part in the play for me but I begged to be involved and got given the PR to do. Meanwhile there were two brothers who appeared - not real people, my imagination concocted this pair - who drove around in a beat up American muscle car. Both skinny, long haired types. One was very attractive and he started hitting on me, but my conscious mind stepped in reminding me of my boyfriend. Because I wouldn’t give in he turned his attentions to someone else so I was glad I’d had nothing to do with him, but it meant I couldn’t be in the play and so had to do all the promotional work.

I was also walking with my friend on top of a hill which had several buildings which looked like schools on them, but nowhere I recognise, one was a school for marine studies but had named itself School of Marinations - ha ha ha!!!

Last night I had the MOST vivid dream I may have ever experienced. I think we can safely attribute this one to drinkng lots of alcohol over the psat few days (well lots for me!) and wearing socks and a dressing gown to bed - my boyfriend was out on the town.

This dream was so vivid that I actuall remember a speech I gave! Unfortunately it wasn’t some amazing script idea, song or novel synopsis, my great moment was wasted on a classroom of kids, but back to the beginning.

 This is so cool. I was in a garden with a number of people from work and school and someone spotted a £10 note on the floor. Once one was found we all started seeing them £10 and £20 notes sticking out of the grass. We got onto our knees, well I did I’m broke, and I pulled note after note out of the soil. It all turned a bit macabre when I uncovered an official note saying the last hanging in Britain was actually 1968 - I know it was earlier than that but my brain conjured up a conspiracy theory! I’m not surprised, I am sick of Diana - Conspiracy or tragic accident. And can I just say now that we’re all going to have to listen to this over and over and over again next year (10 years on) and if there isn’t a new sea of flowers and stream of hysterical mourners on the anniversary day I will eat the horrendous old granny hat one of my work colleagues got as a secret santa present!

Next I was watching a bizarre play/ film featuring a work colleague who is in a band, but his cameo appearance saw him merely waving a couple of trombones around in his arms rather that playing any music!

Then I was Martha Barnsley, a new teacher at a village school, the headmistress introduced me to the children and then I told them how we should work together and I wouldn;t shout - then I shouted at one of the boys for talking continuously - and i told them how I hate liars. I’m not that bothered about lies, I can usually tell when people are doing it - it depends what you’re lying about - that’s what bothers me! I would HATE to be a teacher but I think I would be a good one, although the children would hate me. I’d probably end up with a reputation like one of my junior school teachers who was known as ’The Book Thrower’, he never threw them at kids. One teacher gave someone in my class 10p so he could call childline (I think he was complaining that the teacher kept picking on him), which I thought was highly amusing because its a free phone number!

 

Hello again.

This blog is never going to take off if I don’t blather on about crap more often. So here we go.

The dreaming is going well and I might even go so far as to pinpoint my success at wearing socks in bed. Forget the scarf, gloves, hat. Also a cat sleeping next to your head could be a factor. (That cat gets more pillow than me!)

The squashing people theme came out in another dream. I was on a motorway with a girl I knew from school and her mum. The car broke down and we pulled into a layby which had a big tanker in it with a flat tyre. The driver was trying to get the wheel off (it was as big as him!) and the tanker was rocking. I thought it was going to fall on me and as it tipped towards me I hopped to one side and it missed me. I turned around and saw my friend saying ‘Where’s my mum?’ - she’d been flattened by the tanker. It was really horrid, we had to ring for ambulances and I was desperately trying not to see, I think I realised it was ridiculous and the dream ended.

I also clearly remember a dream where I was styling my mother’s hair into a herringbone plait. She wanted me to stop but I persisted in doing it. We were all wearing mediaeval clothes..strange.

And obviously the weather is bothering me, I dreamed I was driving along a country road and the sea was coming over the walls and people were leaving their cars to try and walk.

My December gripes: 

Sainsbury’s aren’t selling Pferrenusse biscuits anymore - BOOOOOOO!
Its tooooooo busy everywhere
Its not cold enough
Its not Christmas yet!!! Sooooo excited!