When I go on holiday my days revolve around:

How long am I going to lie on the beach/ read my book / fall asleep for?
Where am I going to eat next?
Where will I find a toilet?

And dreaming is much like being on holiday. I ‘ve started dreaming that I fall asleep in inappropriate places (ie work!) and as you know from previous entries toilets are a huge concern to my subconcious. So much so that the other night I dreamt I was in a car with someone (a female) who had a tower of plastic cups next to the drivers seat which she used to form an elaborate cup toilet system.

I think my subconscious is the rebellious part of me - all this talk of giving up smoking and I dream I take it up!

I wonder what we’ll all smell like now after a night out? BO (most likely other people’s) spilt beer and cheap air freshener! Have I ever mentioned that my cat smells nice? most cats smell of tuna breath or biscuit breath but my cat smells GORGEOUS.

Grocery shopping in a church? Renting a hotel room at a small branch of Boots? Normal behaviour? No, of course not.

 So my favourite things at the moment on the internet are

This ever so lovely zombie game http://game.joke.co.uk/ although I can’t get past level 3 Bovine Creek.

This song on http://www.rathergood.com called My Cats got knees http://rathergood.com/knees/

And this little toy that lets you create a message from the CEO to your mates, before I joined the company I enjoyed ‘wearing beautiful evening gowns’ - hilarious. Here’s the link http://www.bigcheesememo.co.uk/

I complained to my local council today about the various roadworks (causing me a huge pain in my ass in the morning as I try to get to work) over the fact that they are going to now do roadworks on the diversion I use! I got a very prompt response from the Project Manager no less who made reference to my email proving it wasn’t an automated reply. My problem isn’t solved but I got my point across and I was read/listened to. I was assured that one route would be open again from April 4th, I think I should be allowed to work from home until then! Or the helicopter should come and collect me. I don’t mind.

This has covered nearly all of my categories at this stage except for cake so I’ll mention here the treacle sponge pudding with custard I ate at lunch time - delicious. An old and reliable favourite. None of your fancy schmancy cheesecake crap.

Tiger is my nearly 4 month old kitten. Named after his stripes, he does have spots like a Leopard but to get a name that reflected both would mean calling him Leper - and with a pet name you always have to test what it’ll sound like at the vets and if the vet shouted out Leper Harding people waiting might think he’s a really horrible vet who insults pet owners. You see?

Tiger has the best personality in a cat I’ve ever known - he’s loving and playful, an absolute sweetheart, even when he uses the tray just after I cleaned it and claws my arms - I wouldn’t expect any less.

As soon as he came home he spotted a jellycat toy I had by the side of my bed - a black cat with long arms and legs called Dodger - still like new, even had the label in his ear. Tiger stole it. And I let him have it. Much mauling by Tiger’s mandibles later and Dodger is now a raggedy, label-less, smelly old toy, but Tiger ADORES him. And if Tiger is doing something naughty or in a room you want him out of, just wave Dodger around and Tiger will pounce on him. I can’t believe how much he loves it. Tiger even carries him around the flat by the neck, which is where he grips while he attacks it. I’ve found Dodger by my bed a few times - left as a present, hmmmm. I’d prefer a champagne breakfast but even my boyfriend doesn’t leave me presents like that!

Tiger has a lovely smell, but he hates being sniffed - so I do it a lot - hahaha. He did have a bath the other night too which left him nice and fragrant - actually he fell into my bath. Stalking along the rim, he slipped and sploosh - back legs and tail in, wet cat scrambles out! He did feel sorry for himself!

Tiger is useful to have around the home in many ways. Along with my boyfriend he has formed BugWatch. Mark will hold Tiger up to the ceiling and tops of the walls, where bugs accumulate, and go on ‘bugwatch’. Moving around the flat Tiger will actively look for moths, flies and spiders. Should they find one they escalate to BugAttack! and you can guess the rest. Tiger ate his first spider the other day - I was so proud. And he makes a good cobweb sweeper too.

Tiger has a favourite game - we’ll hide behind a chair or a door and we sneak looks at each other until one of us pounces! Tiger usually smacks me in the face, but no claws - he knows we’re only playing.

And when he’s finished chasing his tail and shadows, hiding behind doors, pouncing and savaging stuff, Tiger likes to slink with blinking eyes to his favourite sleeping place, under someone’s chin and snuggle up for a nap.

Cats are a love-hate creature, and I’m a bit like that, don’t cross me, I might bite your legs!