I was very excited in the run up to Christmas which may explain the department store dream I had a few days before the big day….

..walking around the store I stumbled across an ET robot, as tall as me. I’m clearly not technologically minded as the robot had a plug attached to it! I pluged it in and the robot came to life…I’ll point out here that I hate ET, and I think I was a bit scared by him when I first saw the film - I was only about 4 or 5! The ET robot started to pursue me around the shop with a crazed robot expression - not good. And then on one of the screens in the shop I saw one of my work colleagues, who is as enthused about exercise as I am, finishing a marathon. I wasn’t very impressed that she hadn’t told me she would do it, traitor.

My unconscious must be missing my work colleagues, because my conscious mind isn’t, but they all featured in last night’s dream. I conjured up a town with shops and bars, all very dirty and dingy, which I was hobbling around with a friend - I was wearing a pair of boots that aren’t the easiest to walk in and in my dream I could barely walk - but it got worse.

My friend and I went into a pub, we somehow managed to insult the landlord who turned out to be an evil criminal. We left with him in hot pursuit of us, hoping to rip our heads off or something. I was running with another work colleague and we decided to hide in our bosses bakery. He hid us in the staff room where all our other colleagues were gathered. We heard the landlord enter the shop and then we saw on the cctv monitor that the shop girl was  showing the man that we weren’t there - we were under the table sure that if he came in he would find us - she was directing the camera aroung the room trying to avoid the image of someone pulling these boots off my legs from under the table. I felt scared at the fact that my limbs were so heavy that I couldn’t move or escape.

 

“Blah blah blah - all blogs should be of value - blah blah blah - here’s another review of something I played/ watched recently - blah blah blah - here’s my view on some latest piece of news - blah blah blah -here’s a crazy dream I had”

Well, you just read it, don’t blame me. 

Last night I had the MOST vivid dream I may have ever experienced. I think we can safely attribute this one to drinkng lots of alcohol over the psat few days (well lots for me!) and wearing socks and a dressing gown to bed - my boyfriend was out on the town.

This dream was so vivid that I actuall remember a speech I gave! Unfortunately it wasn’t some amazing script idea, song or novel synopsis, my great moment was wasted on a classroom of kids, but back to the beginning.

 This is so cool. I was in a garden with a number of people from work and school and someone spotted a £10 note on the floor. Once one was found we all started seeing them £10 and £20 notes sticking out of the grass. We got onto our knees, well I did I’m broke, and I pulled note after note out of the soil. It all turned a bit macabre when I uncovered an official note saying the last hanging in Britain was actually 1968 - I know it was earlier than that but my brain conjured up a conspiracy theory! I’m not surprised, I am sick of Diana - Conspiracy or tragic accident. And can I just say now that we’re all going to have to listen to this over and over and over again next year (10 years on) and if there isn’t a new sea of flowers and stream of hysterical mourners on the anniversary day I will eat the horrendous old granny hat one of my work colleagues got as a secret santa present!

Next I was watching a bizarre play/ film featuring a work colleague who is in a band, but his cameo appearance saw him merely waving a couple of trombones around in his arms rather that playing any music!

Then I was Martha Barnsley, a new teacher at a village school, the headmistress introduced me to the children and then I told them how we should work together and I wouldn;t shout - then I shouted at one of the boys for talking continuously - and i told them how I hate liars. I’m not that bothered about lies, I can usually tell when people are doing it - it depends what you’re lying about - that’s what bothers me! I would HATE to be a teacher but I think I would be a good one, although the children would hate me. I’d probably end up with a reputation like one of my junior school teachers who was known as ’The Book Thrower’, he never threw them at kids. One teacher gave someone in my class 10p so he could call childline (I think he was complaining that the teacher kept picking on him), which I thought was highly amusing because its a free phone number!

 

Two things:

 Fasting man gets so hungry he rips head off swan.

 Woman finds 100 year old sandwich behind skirting board.

 I shouldn’t laugh…..

Hello again.

This blog is never going to take off if I don’t blather on about crap more often. So here we go.

The dreaming is going well and I might even go so far as to pinpoint my success at wearing socks in bed. Forget the scarf, gloves, hat. Also a cat sleeping next to your head could be a factor. (That cat gets more pillow than me!)

The squashing people theme came out in another dream. I was on a motorway with a girl I knew from school and her mum. The car broke down and we pulled into a layby which had a big tanker in it with a flat tyre. The driver was trying to get the wheel off (it was as big as him!) and the tanker was rocking. I thought it was going to fall on me and as it tipped towards me I hopped to one side and it missed me. I turned around and saw my friend saying ‘Where’s my mum?’ - she’d been flattened by the tanker. It was really horrid, we had to ring for ambulances and I was desperately trying not to see, I think I realised it was ridiculous and the dream ended.

I also clearly remember a dream where I was styling my mother’s hair into a herringbone plait. She wanted me to stop but I persisted in doing it. We were all wearing mediaeval clothes..strange.

And obviously the weather is bothering me, I dreamed I was driving along a country road and the sea was coming over the walls and people were leaving their cars to try and walk.

My December gripes: 

Sainsbury’s aren’t selling Pferrenusse biscuits anymore - BOOOOOOO!
Its tooooooo busy everywhere
Its not cold enough
Its not Christmas yet!!! Sooooo excited!